What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
