You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
