mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
