Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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