Your mouth is God's brothel.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We are all done wearing pants today
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
