I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize