the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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