I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
