i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
