Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
