If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.