Non-Jews are for practice
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
