You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
