we're blogging at a bar
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
