eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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