You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Plan B is the new Plan A
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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