She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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