remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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