Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
