Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
