Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
