I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pants are for mortals
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize