It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize