My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
