I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
