I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
