Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
