so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
no, he came in my armpit
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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