their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
