Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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