Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.

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(256): View more from Alabama

He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.

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(671): View more from Guam

You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?

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