i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
