i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
