I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
