idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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