took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
