we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
