and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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