The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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