There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
