just tell him i said nine months
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
