i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
