I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
