He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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