Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
