He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
