my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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