How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
