I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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