she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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