i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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