I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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