I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
did i just pee glitter
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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