State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
