there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
