guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
