i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
