It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
