need another drink. this is the easiest way
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
