We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so explain again why im purple
no
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize