Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
