Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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