This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
