you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
